Proof that Salad Cancels Out Bacon


by 365daysofbacon

The rumors you’ve been hearing. They’re true.

Salad cancels out bacon. 

Let me explain.

The Salad-Cancels-Out-Bacon Rule

This logic is derived from a spectrum of proven theories, derived as follows, in a highly scien-matical, derive-atory way:

1. First, we establish that the ratio of bacon to salad is the same, that is:

bacon:salad = true

We can now proceed in applying the laws of cross-multiplication.

2. In particular, we make use of the cross-cancellation laws, such that:
bacon/salad * salad/bacon = 1

3. Because we slash-ed-ed both the bacon and salad factors like they’re imaginary, we’re obligated to multiply our remainder by i (the infamous “imaginary number”). Like this:

      1 * i 

4. And i, being imaginary and all, stands for nothing tangible, therefore:
i = 0   carried through as   1 * 0

5. As everyone knows, anything multiplied by zero = 0  therefore expressed as,

      1 * i = 0    or   1 * 0 = 0

6. To conclude and prove that

salad cancels out bacon

See Mr. Willet? I WAS paying attention in AP Calculus.

And heck! You were right. I DID find a practical application for this math stuff.

200 thoughts on “Proof that Salad Cancels Out Bacon

  1. Best use for math I’ve seen so far… next to the discovery of the Higgs boson, that is!

  2. Great blog and posts!!! thank you!

  3. bentodays says:

    LOL interesting, nice post!

  4. As an unrelated question but still somewhat related to math where do you purchase your bacon and how much per pound? Near me it’s about $5 or more per pound or less then a pound for the cheapest bacon.

    • Yes, they’re starting to reduce how much is in a pckg — 12 oz or only 8 oz (gasps)!

      I’m fortunate to be part of a natural foods delivery coop called UNFI. So, I buy quality bacon in bulk.

      Costco and Trader Joes have quality for a bit cheaper.

      One tip: buy the Bacon Ends. They’re the “unattractive” pieces that didn’t make a perfect-cut strip. You should be able to find them at TJoes and local coops — maybe elsewhere. 🙂

    • Pecora Nera says:

      I live in Italy and would give my next door neighbours eye teeth for some decent bacon.

  5. […] Don’t forget, my Salad Cancels Out Bacon […]

  6. Can’t believe i’ve only just found this blog! My life is complete.

  7. Ammon says:

    I cannot dispute your logic. I’m convinced. Thank you.

  8. Stand up comedian Jim Gaffigan does a bacon bit that cracks me up every time (and makes me want some bacon, damnit!):

  9. trailerdreamer says:

    This changes EVERYTHING.

    • i know. and here i thought math was totally useless. 😉

      • trailerdreamer says:

        But what KIND of salad. Am I good with any salad? Is there another math equation that can work that out for me? I don’t want to think I am canceling out my bacon when in reality I am not eating the right kind of salad!

  10. barriesaxxy says:

    How do we know that the ratio of bacon to salad is the same again?

  11. segmation says:

    I think that it is time for me to get some bacon and salad! Your blog really made this mathematician hungry!

  12. B Gourley says:

    I’ve put bacon over salad before, but it never occurred to me to put salad over bacon. Sounds hedonistic and delicious.

  13. andy1076 says:

    ~Takes another bite out of his bacon stick~ what? I’m just reading 😛

  14. Whitney says:

    Haha, nice!

  15. Does Jim Gaffigan know about this site? Fun site!

  16. Jessica Rice says:

    Congrats on getting freshly pressed!

  17. pinkbekah says:

    If only math had been taught to me like this! I never could figure out how X times four apples equaled 7.3 bananas. But this makes sense and seems very practical for comlaring a number of different food items! You might have discovered a new diet craze!

  18. Reblogged this on Sugar Land BBQ and commented:
    I like to believe this is true, but my belly says that it isn’t.

  19. bikerchick57 says:

    I was never good at math, but I’ll believe you.

  20. awesome! a practical use for algebra!

  21. brettfish says:

    i basically just come on to this blog page for the picture of the bacon in the top right corner… SO GOOD… everything else is a bonus… great job, keep on!

  22. Reblogged this on adventuringwithashley and commented:
    Math was never my strong point. But this makes sense to me 🙂

  23. Katie says:

    I love it when people use math to prove the world makes sense – especially when it is something I knew intuitively. (P.S. I have a Math degree – and I think you could probably prove the bacon is twice as nutritious as an apple!)

  24. Ryan Hermann says:

    Haha very nice!!

  25. Any excuse to eat more bacon. 🙂

  26. Coach Muller says:

    Great site about the world’s greatest food!!!

  27. osherb says:

    Nice blog!! Please visit mine!
    Visit, read, comment, follow!!

  28. Yay math! Could you use this to make bacon cancel out bacon? Or at least eggs cancel out bacon? I am assuming that jalapenos poppers with cheese are the same as salad, so I can wrap bacon around them guilt-free.

    • i’ll hafta work on the first two, but I’m pretty sure they’re do-able.

      for sure jalapenos are green and salad is green. which means you can set salad = jalapenos. and the rest of the equation still holds true to cancel out your poppers 😉

  29. Love the concept of your blog!

  30. mika says:

    Hah! Great stuff!

    Just what i needed to make math studies more fun and finger-licking good 🙂

  31. […] Proof that Salad Cancels Out Bacon. […]

  32. whysamiam says:

    Hahha!! Hilarious!

  33. sourcookies says:

    I am copying that and I will show it to my students. Hopefully they will study some basic calculus after that!

  34. yrahul3910 says:

    Nice fallacy! There’s also one which says that studying will lead to fail –
    Study = fail,
    Don’t study = Don’t fail… adding both the equations,

    Study + Don’t Study = Fail + Don’t fail…. Taking study and fail common,

    Study (1 + Don’t) = Fail (1 + Don’t)… Cancelling (1 + Don’t) on both sides,

    Study = Fail

  35. Reblogged this on AshbourneVoice and commented:
    At last – a practical use of maths

  36. Reblogged this on Egg in the Middle and commented:
    This is so true!!!

  37. Its the same guiding principle as ‘standing up.’ If you eat bacon standing up…it doesn’t count. If you eat M&Ms standing up…zero calories…

  38. This is almost perfect, but you forgot one thing…. I = the square root of negative one. Mwhahaha! Oatmeal for you!!

  39. i may not eat bacon, but I appreciate the genius of this mathematical genius!! not, I challenge you to achieve the same with cookies!! 😀

  40. What a great fun post!

  41. ritualmedspa says:

    Haha, hilarious!

  42. midnitechef says:

    This is awesome! I’m trying to eat more vegetarian but there’s no way to let go of bacon. I’m drooling just thinking about a nice salty crisp piece right now….mmmm.

  43. Life With Marlene Flowers says:

    lol, great way to use math. I’m reblogging this. Bacon rules out all extra calories, chocolate, ice cream…you name it. Makes me want to go get some maple bacon ice cream and sprinkle it with some bacon dipped chocolate sprinkles. oh my

  44. Life With Marlene Flowers says:

    Reblogged this on Life With Marlene and commented:
    bacon wins…again

  45. osherb says:

    😈Nice blog!! Check out my music blog!! Read, comment, follow please!!

  46. This is one of the best use of maths that I have ever seen. Well done! I have to say that I like bacon and salad.

  47. Masterfully written and thought out. 😉

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