10 Reasons why Bacon is Better than Booze

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by 365daysofbacon

I’m going through the Wine Withdrawls of Lent.

But I’m still thankful I didn’t give up the bacon!

1. You can eat bacon all day/night long, remember it, and not be hungover the next day
2. You can legally purchase it 24/7/365
3. You can get all crunked (cruncht?) on bacon and pass a sobriety test
4. You can achieve your RDA of sodium in just a few bites
5. You can make people laugh by confessing you’re a bacon-holic
6. No one can make you go to bacon rehab, because it doesn’t exist!
7. You can safely and legally distribute it to minors
8. You can eat it in the car, at a park, at church, in fine restaurants, at work, etc
9. You don’t have to pay bacon tax or be 21 to purchase it
10. You can show up “smelling like bacon” and no one will fire, divorce you, or otherwise get upset and do something dramatic

That said, you COULD have the best of both worlds.
Also known as Bacon Bourbon. But that post is coming. Later.

Patience, my young Padawan.  😉